I was born, 30th September 1990, at 11.40pm.
From the moment I opened my eyes I guess I knew I was going to change the world. I chose my parents, and what a good choice I made. They are both wonderful, selfless, caring, loving and are my world. They have guided me to who I am today and what an outstanding job they did.
Growing up through primary school I guess I felt normal, I remember having my new bag for the start of the year, my new shoes, the new uniform which smelt of fresh linen. My Mum would plait my hair that morning, I would run downstairs for my cup of tea, which had cooled down enough for me to neck it in one go. Coco pops next for breakfast, and a lovely stroll to school holding my Dads hand.
From my memories, the best part of school was making new friends, and trying my hardest to be liked by many, I craved to fit in. I even wanted the teachers to love me. I had so much love at home, I guess I wanted to share that love with others. Asking friends to come for tea after school was so exciting, I couldn’t wait to play with my barbies and show them my new toys. There were hard times in school, subjects I didn’t like, or wasn’t good at, and there were the bullies and there were the nasty friends. I guess that was all part of my journey.
Long summers in Spain with my family, beach and sea, lilo’s and ice lollies. We would spend the whole 6 weeks in the sun. Me and Sam splashing in the sea, we have so many amazing memories, and we seen so many wonderful places, including Disney!!! My Fav.
Moving onto high school was were my world started the shake and I became more and more different to the world around me. I started to become a woman fairly early, which was confusing, scary and again made me feel not normal. But still the new friends came, old friends faded away. I found high school challenging at times. Showing love wasn’t the same anymore, so I decided to hide away some of my love. All I wanted to do was fit in, I would pretend to like the same things as my friends because I thought it would help me to be liked. Sometimes it didn’t, it made me feel worse.
I used to sit in class daydreaming, thinking deeply about life, why are we sat in school, what is this for, do we really need to be here, why can’t I be out in nature or at home with my loved ones, I really questioned everything. Then it all became clear, it is part of the process and my path. If I hadn’t had come to school I probably wouldn’t be able to read or write. I wouldn’t be making new friends, learning new topics and subjects.
Every year in school became easier I guess, but still this burning desire stayed deep within my belly and every day it got hotter and hotter, screaming to get out. What is this trying to tell me? I didn’t understand. I got into trouble at school, I wasn’t perfect, but boy we did have some fun. Being different made me feel isolated slightly until I look back, now I know I was completely unique and special. Some teachers you didn’t really get on with and wondered why, some people wanted to hate you and you wondered why, some subjects you just couldn’t grasp and wondered why. All this journey is who you are today, I may not have been the best at some subjects but the one thing I was good at was living life and making connections. Aren’t they the best kind of memories. Maybe the reason I was good at Maths is because I needed it one day for a certain job, maybe I was ok at English because now I love to read stories. Maybe I loved history so much because now I thrive in seeing new places and our ancient ruins. Maybe I was good at I.T because I am now writing these blogs. The universe has its plan for you. Trust it and never doubt it. I could write a book about my life (what an idea) but in a nutshell school is such a big part of our lives and even though I have only touched on it briefly you see how we all view and deal with it differently.
There is so much more to my life growing up but school life is tough, we have all been through it, some of us hated it, some of loved it. All I can say is, I never ever regret a single moment. It has made me the exact person I am today, I made my yellow brick road and I followed it, with love and desire. You wish you hadn’t had met a certain person, or hadn’t said those words, or hadn’t been to that place. Breathe, if something is meant for you it will never pass you by.
My love and light.
Phillippa x
